![]() ![]() ![]() The Tories would talk about the gateway theory. Dalliances with drugs did me no favours and now aged 32 I've progressed to mowing down pedestrians, hi-jacking ambulances and ice cream vans, shooting the police, battering vagrants and paramedics and getting taught the ways of the Lord in dark alleys by ladies of ill-repute. Then at around age 161 discovered fags and booze and started spiralling down the garbage chute of life. Girls didn't used to fancy me, they thought I was 'sweet' and I passed all of my '0' Levels with flying colours, barring French. I'd spend Sundays (after choir service) baking cakes with my mum (meringues being my speciality) and I used to own a pink skateboard on which I would stand and go down hills before picking it up and walking back to the top.
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